A Denver man paying his respects to the missionary echoed the celebratory yet reverential mood sweeping the nation. “To the man who was taken captive into slavery at the young age of 16, escaped, and then returned to the land of his enslavement to share the soul-saving gospel of Jesus Christ among the pagan Druids who wanted him dead!” he said between shots of Jack Daniel’s at a local Applebee’s. “This one’s for you, Patrick!”
“More shots! It’s what ol’ Paddy would have wanted!” he added.
U.S.—Reports from around the country Friday indicated that celebrations in honor of Christian missionary Saint Patrick consisted primarily of consuming large amounts of alcohol in order to get “totally plastered.” Partygoers around the nation and world declared their deep level of respect and admiration for the missionary by pounding all sorts of green beer, hard liquor, wine, …