She was reportedly feeling "freezing cold" as the weather dipped to a brisk…

She was reportedly feeling "freezing cold" as the weather dipped to a brisk 75 degrees in the late afternoon, proclaiming that it was "frigid" outside. Donning a winter coat, beanie, and scarf, she braved the dangerously low temperatures anyway, determined to make it back to her domicile where she could turn the heater on at the maximum possible setting.

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Report: Wife Cold
LOS ANGELES, CA—Multiple sources close to a local wife confirmed Tuesday that she is cold.Though everyone around her was dressed in seasonally appropriate clothing and didn’t seem to feel like it was cold outside, she declared they were all “crazy” and that only she could tell that it was actually dangerously close to sub-zero temperatures. …

Dogs and cats began lying down together in harmony, people of opposing political…

Dogs and cats began lying down together in harmony, people of opposing political parties emerged from their homes and talked to each other like rational human beings, and multiple antifa and white supremacist groups were seen laying down their arms.

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Facebook Suffers Brief Outage, Utopia Breaks Out Around World
WORLD—After Facebook suffered a brief period of outages and technical errors this morning, utopia suddenly broke out around the world, multiple sources across the globe were reporting Tuesday.Dogs and cats began lying down together in harmony, people of opposing political parties emerged from their homes and talked to each other like rational human being …

"Quick! You've got to stack up these blocks to build a fort or that horde…

"Quick! You've got to stack up these blocks to build a fort or that horde of creepers is going to get you!" a virtual NPC yells at the player in one scene, prompting the player to frantically begin picking up clothes from the floor of their room and put them in the laundry basket in the real world. "Better hurry up! We've got a few other forts to build once this one is done!"

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Exciting New VR Game Tricks Your Kids Into Doing Household Chores
U.S.—An exciting, innovative new game for the HTC Vive, PlayStation VR, and Oculus Rift systems will trick your children into doing household chores for you.The game, developed by ImmersionVR Sims Ltd, will make your kids think they’re building elaborate structures in Minecraft, pushing shelves up against doors to hold a horde of zombies at bay, and …

“You know what they do in the Kanto region?” Trump explained, referring to the…

“You know what they do in the Kanto region?” Trump explained, referring to the region from the first Pokémon games. “Whenever there is a fire, they just send out the water-type Pokémon to handle it, and they don’t have any problem — or if they do, it’s really small. They just go —” Trump imitated throwing a Poké Ball. “— ‘Squirtle, I choose you!’ And it’s problem solved. I mean, a Squirtle probably won’t be enough to handle the size of the fires out here, but a Blastoise should do it.”

Rain is expected starting tomorrow.

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-suggests-california-deploy-water-type-pokemon

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Trump Suggests California Deploy Water-Type Pokemon
CALIFORNIA—Standing beside Governor Jerry Brown, Trump suggested his own solution for the wildfires plaguing California: the deployment of water-type Pokémon.“You know what they do in the Kanto region?” Trump explained, referring to the region from the first Pokémon games. “Whenever there is a fire, they just send out the …